Mars

Nothing to report on the ‘not watching the news’ front, except that I happened to get a glimpse of an article about an abnormal structure found on Mars. I didn’t mean to, I just peered at a computer screen that was on a mainstream news site and ‘boom!’ my year off news is the year Alien life hires a publicist. I’ve always suspected that Mars was once walked upon by creatures as foolish as ourselves and they did a good job of killing it. If I’m wrong then I’m hoping it’s a planet inhabited with intelligent Lizards who have infiltrated our kind here on earth; taken positions in government and have a vested interest in using mobile phone technology to give us brain cancer. The theory goes that tumours are a delicacy for these Lizards so they gave us the gadgets to farm what they most desire. Our best minds are their Foie Gras in waiting. I only hope this one’s true because watching the people who have spent their entire lives with their heads in the sand; watching them find ways to actually hide their heads in the sand would probably be worth having your scull munched out by a scaly stranger.

I’m assuming the abnormal structure on Mars has been denied because if people believed life on Mars was real, I’d be seeing more people relaxing at home during the week. The Tic Tac factories of the world would have a hard time convincing staff to believe in the benefits of mint. In fact having the breath and odour of a human would probably become the latest fashion statement. All these years denying what we are would become an embarrassing chapter in history as we all join team Human. Memberships only available to the imperfect faulty folks who aren’t afraid to smell, fail and shake their wobbly bits whilst dancing to the moon. At least that’s how it goes in my head.

I just finished reading the Adventures of Tom Sawyer and now I’m onto Huck Finn. Twain is the best kind of writer because he gives you back your youth without bossing you about. You want to lose weight and feel younger Tom and Huck are the ones to follow. You won’t find them on Twitter or Facebook as they only get in the way of fishing and being a pirate.  In an un-planned bout of good timing I’ve been reading these adventures and seeking a move to the UK at the same time. I have a young family and the idea of moving country has stirred a lot of bullshit bravado in me. I puff up when secretly I’m shaking. But Mark Twain has let me glimpse my fearless youth and problems have morphed into adventures. And if the Lizards are real and my noggin doesn’t taste up to scratch then I’ll read him again to find my fighting spirit.

So in a-round-about way that’s been the energy of my week: Excitement of extraterrestrial life being mainstream news; dismay that it all fell on sand sodden ears; followed by confidence found in the devilish nature of two 19^th century adventurists. I’ve enjoyed it although it has ended on a sad note as on another young Australian soldier was killed fighting on foreign soil for reasons so twisted and vile they make a clear head cloudy. I didn’t see it on the news but instead heard it from a neighbour and it’s got my feathers ruffled. It could be time to write a letter.