Eghh's in waiting.

Do you think Diabetes is too happy a word? It doesn’t really convey the severity of the disease. Cancer sounds like a sideways creeping cluster fuck whereas Diabetes  sounds like a secluded Greek island. ‘Where are you going this summer?’ ‘Diabetes, Kath wants to learn how to windsurf’. It should be called ‘eghh!’ because that’s what you say when you see your first necrotic toe. Boom! I spent two hours on a train to try that bit out. It’s a keeper*. I didn’t mind the travel-time as I love what I do but don’t put me on a train for a stupid reason.   

There’s something quite frustrating about having to prove that you speak English when the only language you speak is English. That frustration grows as the people testing your English, use it as their second, or in some cases, third language. I have nothing against folks who are smarter than me but as they are so intelligent surely all that needs to happen is a phone call! ‘Do you speak English well enough to be a nurse?’  ‘Of course I know the following sentences off by heart: Don’t worry I’ve seen it all before; I’ll be there in a minute; please don’t bite my face.’ Great you know the basics, you’re in.’ Alas no. I had to hop on a London bound train surrounded by overweight and illiterate teenage Eghh’s in waiting, with the hope that I’ll get the all clear to nurse their parents to a self inflicted and premature death. But still the positives are of the 7 billion people on the planet many are heading in this direction and one day, in the not too distant future, ignorance will create bliss. And while we’re on the topic of population control, which we all secretly want, poor communication skills in hospitals, is probably the answer.  Night x

* Whilst it is a keeper in certain rooms it can also be used to start a staring competition, which I’m fine with as my auntie was born without eyelids so I’m match fit.